Battlescars
by stacmmfd
Summary: Rae pushes Finn away in promo.


Prompt from anon: Can you do one where it goes on after Rae pulls her hand away from Finn in the promo?

**FOREWARNINGS:**

This is shit.

I can't really focus enough to read it through myself to check for continuity and if it makes sense. It's probably a little bit darker than _anon_ was expecting. I also haven't written in 5-6 years, so the first few are going to be especially shittier than the others.

I can't write using accents and I suck at dialogue.

I am from the states. That should explain a lot.

I don't listen to this sort of music but I know how much I hate the song mentioned in this fic and that's just the little preview from Never Mind the Buzzcocks.

Kissing scenes. First of all, I hate the word "kiss" (also the word "panties"). I've never done it, so I don't know how to describe it. It's not going to be hot and heavy in that aspect. Hell, this romance shit? Can't really do that either.

I'm no English major. I'm a Zoology major; all of my documents are nearly entirely underlined in red because Word doesn't like science students. So, of course my grammar is poor.

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><p>She never thought she'd be the girl who would be told to shut up by a kiss. Then again she never thought she'd be the one to have such a delicious boyfriend like Finn.<p>

They were sat outside the locker rooms before Finn's first football match of the season talking about the suspicious album Rae found in the collection he brought to her house the day before.

"I never pegged you, Mr. Music, to listen to him." Rae quipped, smiling at him with an eyebrow raised.

"I'm telling you, it's me mum's. I'd never listen to that shit." Finn tried to defend himself. "Mum must've sneaked it into the bag before I left. She's always trying to embarrass me in front of you."

"Sure, whatever, Finn. But I renounce you of even having the second-best knowledge of music."

"But, Rae! It's me mum's! I'm telling ya!" he whined.

"You don't think I'm weird though, do ya?" Rae looked at him seriously.

"What?" Finn was confused.

"Well, I'm no mysterious girl, Finn." He rolled his eyes as she giggled. "Du-du-do-do-doo! Mysterious gi-"

Suddenly his grinning face was on hers. Catching her off-guard and her bottom lip between his, he successfully shut her up and stopped the horrid song from continuing.

It was a quick kiss; the only thing stopping Finn was Rae's hand pushing his chest causing them to separate. His eyes stayed closed for a moment, blissfully he sighed. When he opened his eyes he saw Rae's staring at his lips with a startled expression gracing her face. He opened his mouth to speak, but Rae beat him to it.

"The fuck was that for?" she sounded bewildered.

Finn, surprised and unsure of how to respond, tried to speak. "Umm…Well, I-"

"Why did you do that?" she was still shocked.

Finn put his head down, embarrassed. "I…I've been wanting to- to kiss you. But I also wanted you to stop that damn." He let out a short laugh, lifting his head shyly.

"I don't understand." Rae's eyes were locked on his own.

"Rae… What don't you understand? I'm sorry if you weren't ready. And that song…it's fucking terrible and I wanted to shut you up, too." Finn let out a small laugh. "I- I just thought that-"

She cut him off again. "No, Finn. I just…Why me? I don't get why you like me?" Her shoulders dropped along with her head to her chest, her thoughts whirling around her head. "Why?" Rae shouted. "I don't get why! Why me? What's so great about me? I'm a fat girl who's recently come out of a mental home after nearly killing myself, Finn. Why would you want someone like me?" The last sentence she whispered, still unable to look at him. "I am fat. I have scars on my legs. I don't get why _me_." She finally turned to him.

"Why would you want to be seen with me? You know everyone's going to be staring at us when we get into college. They're not just going to be saying shit about me anymore; it'll be about you, too. I've put up with the stares, disgusted faces, the whispers, the laughs… Are you sure you're ready for that?"

He touched her arm, running his hand down until he grabbed her shaking hand in his. "Rae…You are fucking amazing." He ran his thumb up and down her hand. "I am so happy to wake up each morning with the thought of seeing you. I'd be _proud_ to have you on my arm wherever we are. Be at the pub, college – wherever. Not to mention you have amazing taste in music, just like me."

Rae snorted and opened her mouth to interrupt and protest but Finn continued. "That is my mum's album, dammit. Not mine. Besides, you're the one that was singing it." He bumped her shoulder with his. "We started out on the wrong foot but that was because I was intimidated by you; besides you fancied Archie over me. I was jealous because I was learning that you were the girl that I'd thought I would never meet but you had your attention set on someone that wasn't me. We love the same music, we wear the same kind of clothes, we're both brilliantly funny…" He threw her a wicked smile that she timidly returned.

"I love your smile. I love how your face goes pink when I touch you." He ran his finger down her cheek, proving just that. "I _really_ like you, Rae. The fact that you were in the psych ward is not going to deter me from you. And your legs?" He moved his hand from her face to her legs where he started tracing the raised marks he could feel beneath her leggings.

"Those aren't just scars. Those are battlescars. Those are a reminder of the battle in your head. You were at war with yourself, Rae. I know that I'm not going to understand everything; I'm not going to pretend I know how you were feeling when you did it or why. I'm not going to pretend to understand how hurting yourself makes you feel better. I just know that those scars are a result of the battle in your head but they are also a reminder to what I could have lost before I even had you. And you are so fucking brave, standing up there and telling people you were sick. I'd never have the guts to stand up in front of a crowd at all."

Rae put her hand atop Finn's on her leg. Sniffling she looked at him as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Finn… You are the best thing to happen to me. I never thought that someone like you would want to be with me. I'm trying to get better, I really am; being with you and the gang helps. Kester, too. He's brilliantly annoying."

She smiled fondly looking past Finn before turning back to him. "I'm working on getting better but it takes a lot to go from hating yourself so much you try to kill yourself to even accepting yourself. I want you to know that because I'm going to say twattish things, I'll get mad, and there are going to be times where I want to hurt myself again. But like I said, I'm working past it. There are chances that I will hurt you because of something I said but I don't want to you to take what I may say to heart. I can't really explain it well, but I'm trying."

"Rae, I'll be there for you. I promise," Finn said softly brushing fallen strands of hair from her face. "I'll do what I can. If I do something wrong, say something wrong, tell me. You can talk to me about anything you want… You can't get rid of me too easily, Rae. But I want you to try and fight for us, too."

Rae shook her head, grinning so much she hurt her cheeks. "Hey, Finn?"

"Hmm?"

"You wanna finish what you started earlier?" Her cheeks lit up again.

Confused, Finn ran the conversation through his head. His eyebrows scrunched together, eyes aimed at the ceiling. Rae rolled her eyes and gave him a mocking laugh.

"Bollocks, Finn. Don't think too hard about it."

Grabbing his jaw, she pulled his face to her and planted her lips on his, both of them smiling into the kiss.

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><p>Tumblr URL: Stac<p> 


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